Thursday, August 26, 2010

Friendship





True friendship is perhaps the only relation that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship. Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure.

Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life. Friendship is eternal.

Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had. This is one relation that has been nurtured since time immemorial. There are famous stories about friends in mythologies of different religions all over the world. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure.

Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as 'a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals. As children become friends, they negotiate boundaries within which both partners function'. This helps them to function like healthy individuals in life as they learn to draw a line as and when needed in a relation. This greatly helps in the emotional development of an individual. However, any relation needs constant nurturing and development from all the people that are involved in one. Friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from others.

Since friendship starts the moment a child starts socializing, the kind of friends that the child chooses should be taken care of till the time he / she learns to differentiate between right and wrong. Wrong peers or lack of socializing can lead to severe psychological traumas and disorders, finally leading to social maladjustment. The correct peer group is essential for the development of the personality of a child. Both positive and negative experiences refine the personality of the individual. Thus it is essential that you find friends who are compatible with you on an emotional and psychological basis.

"LOVE"

What is the meaning of love?

Most people who claim to love someone don’t really love them, because they don’t know what love actually is.

What is love NOT?

Possessiveness is not love

Jealousy is not love

Lust is not love

Fear is not love

Keeping people all to yourself is not love

Expecting something from someone is not love

Real love is unconditional. All other “forms” of love are not really love. Most parents and kids don’t love each other, most people in relationships don’t love each other, most people on the planet never experience unconditional love in their entire lives… or at least it sure looks that way.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future – because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with. How many parents can say that about their kids? How many people can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people “This is *MY* girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/son/daughter/whatever”. You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything you disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter what.

So, how does unconditional love fit in with relationships and marriage and sex and all that stuff the whole world keeps going crazy over? It doesn’t, really. It doesn’t “fit” in anywhere. Relationships are like trying to put love into a box and keep it there, except love is infinitely sized, and the box is… well, there is no box large enough. And a normal, conventional marriage is quite possibly the worst possible way to show someone how much you love them.

Unconditional love is more of a spiritual thing. It’s not bound by physical things, like blood relations and the desire to procreate. It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely, even if they genuinely think they love the other person. But if the person they “love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason, would they still want to be with that person? Would they get jealous if the person they “love” wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs are not unconditional.

In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I just said). You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything you think you know first.

The Meaning of Love is proudly powered by WordPress